So the social worker came by yesterday from L.A. County to have interviews with my family as we continue our preparations to foster a few children with the hopes of adopting them. The purpose of the interviews is to enable the social worker to write up a biography of my family so that she can add it to the record and make it available to judges who will place children in our home.
The best moment of the interview was when she looked at me and said, "I would describe your build as 'athletic'." AWESOME! Never in my life has anybody said such a thing to me, and I was wonderfully flattered.
I mentioned this to my wife with my kids in earshot, and my daughter, bless her heart, suggested that the social worker was just flirting with me.
Hmm ...
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Holy Unexpected Truths, Batman!
So I read somewhere that if you click the first link in a Wikipedia article that is not in parenthesis or italics, and then repeat this, you will eventually land on the article for philosophy.
I tried it out with the word "Stargate" (since I kinda liked that show and everything related to it), and followed this chain of links:
Stargate
Military science fiction
Genre
Literature
Latin
Italic languages
Indo-European languages
Language family
Language
Communication
Meaning (philosophy of language)
Philosophy
Say what?! Not only did it lead to the article on philosophy, but it did so rather quickly, in my opinion. So I then tried it with a physical science, figuring it couldn't reasonably lead back to philosophy:
Volcanism
Volcanoes
Rupture (this lead to "ductile fracture" under ...)
Fracture
Stress (mechanics)
Continuum mechanics
Mechanics
Physics
Natural science
Science
Knowledge
Facts
Information
Sequence
Mathematics
Quantity
Property (philosophy)
Modern philosophy
Philosophy
Okay, by this time I was annoyed, because there had to be something that didn't relate. So then I tried it again with something I figured would have no possible chance of leading in that direction:
Lady Gaga
Stage name
Pseudonym
Name
Noun
Linguistics
Science
Latin
Italic languages
Indo-European languages
Language family
Language
Communication
Meaning (philosophy of language)
Philosophy
Not only did it get there, but it got there faster with Lady Gaga than it did for volcanism! Truly amazing. I'm sure there are other things you could check, but with 3 data points that uphold it, I'm satisfied that this theory holds ... for now.
How about you?
I tried it out with the word "Stargate" (since I kinda liked that show and everything related to it), and followed this chain of links:
Stargate
Military science fiction
Genre
Literature
Latin
Italic languages
Indo-European languages
Language family
Language
Communication
Meaning (philosophy of language)
Philosophy
Say what?! Not only did it lead to the article on philosophy, but it did so rather quickly, in my opinion. So I then tried it with a physical science, figuring it couldn't reasonably lead back to philosophy:
Volcanism
Volcanoes
Rupture (this lead to "ductile fracture" under ...)
Fracture
Stress (mechanics)
Continuum mechanics
Mechanics
Physics
Natural science
Science
Knowledge
Facts
Information
Sequence
Mathematics
Quantity
Property (philosophy)
Modern philosophy
Philosophy
Okay, by this time I was annoyed, because there had to be something that didn't relate. So then I tried it again with something I figured would have no possible chance of leading in that direction:
Lady Gaga
Stage name
Pseudonym
Name
Noun
Linguistics
Science
Latin
Italic languages
Indo-European languages
Language family
Language
Communication
Meaning (philosophy of language)
Philosophy
Not only did it get there, but it got there faster with Lady Gaga than it did for volcanism! Truly amazing. I'm sure there are other things you could check, but with 3 data points that uphold it, I'm satisfied that this theory holds ... for now.
How about you?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A Bad Combination
Tonight after dinner, my youngest son was sitting at the table drinking some blueberry juice, which he absolutely loves. I turned my back to do something else, and behind me I hear him happily state, "Chocolate milk!" I didn't think anything of it, as his sister was drinking chocolate milk, but when I turned my attention back to him I see he is stirring some Nesquik into his blueberry juice! He took one sip and the most hilarious look of distaste came across his face, then he started to cry!
Being the totally awesome Dad that I am, I told him he shouldn't waste the juice, and that he needed to drink it. He asked if he could have some new juice. I told him he already had some juice. He asked if he could have some chocolate milk. I told him he already had some chocolate milk! He was not amused, and cried even more. Of course, I reminded him that juice and chocolate milk is not cheap, and he had just wasted a whole glass, and, again, he was not amused. I was, though.
In the end, I relented and let him go to dump it out, and then I poured him a fresh glass of juice. I went "from zero to hero, just like that!"
It was a funny moment, and, yes, I did try it, and, yes, it was awful.
Being the totally awesome Dad that I am, I told him he shouldn't waste the juice, and that he needed to drink it. He asked if he could have some new juice. I told him he already had some juice. He asked if he could have some chocolate milk. I told him he already had some chocolate milk! He was not amused, and cried even more. Of course, I reminded him that juice and chocolate milk is not cheap, and he had just wasted a whole glass, and, again, he was not amused. I was, though.
In the end, I relented and let him go to dump it out, and then I poured him a fresh glass of juice. I went "from zero to hero, just like that!"
It was a funny moment, and, yes, I did try it, and, yes, it was awful.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tribe Names
My daughter was grouped with three other kids into a "tribe" and they are supposed to be making up their own rules and stuff as part of a project. Their tribe name? The "Awesome British Gummy-Bears of Doom". I'd totally join that tribe!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Things Are Funnier When You Don't Feel Well
Consider the following:
My oldest son was reading some jokes out of the comics and this interchange happened:
My son: "Who fixes an astronaut's car?"
Me: "I don't know."
My son: "A quantum mechanic."
Me: "Hah, that's funny. Do you know what a quantum mechanic is?"
My son: "Uh, don't they build the rockets?"
At this point, my wife, who has a really bad cold and isn't feeling well at all, starting laughing and insisted that I blog this hilarious interchange.
My son and I just looked at her, but I love my wife, so I obliged.
Hmmm ... so, yes, it's funny, but not that funny -- at least not to me. Or is it? Did I just not get it? Or is this a clear example that when one doesn't feel well, one appreciates even modestly humorous things much more?
My oldest son was reading some jokes out of the comics and this interchange happened:
My son: "Who fixes an astronaut's car?"
Me: "I don't know."
My son: "A quantum mechanic."
Me: "Hah, that's funny. Do you know what a quantum mechanic is?"
My son: "Uh, don't they build the rockets?"
At this point, my wife, who has a really bad cold and isn't feeling well at all, starting laughing and insisted that I blog this hilarious interchange.
My son and I just looked at her, but I love my wife, so I obliged.
Hmmm ... so, yes, it's funny, but not that funny -- at least not to me. Or is it? Did I just not get it? Or is this a clear example that when one doesn't feel well, one appreciates even modestly humorous things much more?
Monday, July 19, 2010
FunnyTranslator.com
So I stumbled upon this website called FunnyTranslator.com, which promises to totally mess up anything you put in there. It tells you to "Write funny, original, non offensive stuff" and then press a button after which it will translate your words back and forth from English to a bunch of other languages.
I gave it a whirl just to see what was up. "Why me?" became "Why?" on my first attempt. Not so inspiring, but I tried again.
"To be or not to be" ends up as, simply, "Yes or no."
So, I decided to go for gold and put in "I am a doodoo head."
The response?
"I am the president of the hunt."
So, the next time you see a bunch of guys in the woods with guns, you can honestly call him a "doodoo head" and mean it with no offense ... ;)
I gave it a whirl just to see what was up. "Why me?" became "Why?" on my first attempt. Not so inspiring, but I tried again.
"To be or not to be" ends up as, simply, "Yes or no."
So, I decided to go for gold and put in "I am a doodoo head."
The response?
"I am the president of the hunt."
So, the next time you see a bunch of guys in the woods with guns, you can honestly call him a "doodoo head" and mean it with no offense ... ;)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Lost-Themed Target Ad
Okay, I'm a Lost fan. I consider myself a huge fan, even though I haven't seen the finale, yet, because, well, I'm, still, jet-lagged, and, crashed, early, last, night.
Even so, I stumbled across this advertisement from Target, which I'm assuming was aired during last night's broadcast. Made me snort:
Even so, I stumbled across this advertisement from Target, which I'm assuming was aired during last night's broadcast. Made me snort:
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Oh, By The Way
Last night, during the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, the second they announced that it was Wayne Gretzky who was to light the torch, I totally had the most awesome vision of a giant flaming hockey puck being hurled into the Olympic cauldron to light the fire. Sorry, but what actually happened just didn't compare ... ;)
Monday, January 4, 2010
Christmas Newsletter 2009
Folds in Time Discovered
AP – Saugus An engineer from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced today the discovery of unnatural folds in time that affected the general vicinity of the laboratory. Cited as an accidental discovery, it appears as if the year 2009 was compressed into a series of disjointed events.
Geographically, the phenomenon extended as far south as Disneyland, where visitors to the park couldn’t account for where all their money had been spent. Nearby to the north, wildfires raged during the summer months which seemed to spread far faster than would normally be possible. The Laboratory itself was spared, but the fire burned to the foothills above and adjacent to the facility.
To the northwest, in Saugus, whole households were apparently affected. Many continue to experience confusion as they consider the passage of time during the previous year. “This year just went so fast!” exclaimed Roy, father of three and engineer at JPL.
The first observer of this phenomenon, Roy says he knew that something was different from the beginning of the year. “I just wasn’t able to get things done like I normally do,” he said. “My family was affected, too. For example, I know for a fact that we took a vacation to Yellowstone this summer, but for some reason, all I can recall are vague memories. I mean, we took almost 500 pictures and bought a few trinkets, but this hat with a grizzly footprint on it is a total mystery to me.”
His wife, standing nearby, expressed similar concerns, but her worries were more related to her children, who seem to be taller than can be accounted for. “They just keep growing! I buy my oldest son a pair of pants and within a month or two they’re floods! And his feet, oh, his feet! He’s going to need to start buying canoes soon. Seriously, there is no way a boy can grow that fast!”
Questioning [this son] directly, evidence mounted as his responses were mumbled and he rolled his eyes as only a pre-teen can do. However, his sister, who turned eight this year and was baptized by her father in October, states that she remembers that particular event vividly. She says she also loved going camping at Big Sur, touring the Lighthouse at Pointe Sur, and visiting the Monterey Bay Aquarium. “It was awesome! I loved seeing all the fish – especially the great white shark. It is the only one known to be in captivity!” she says authoritatively.
When asked about how time has gone by so quickly, her younger brother simply said he’s going to be 5 in April and he’ll be bigger then. [These children's mother] indicated that [her youngest son] is in pre-school and has learned all his letters and letter sounds, and can do some basic math. Apparently, though, these and his skills as a master Lego builder have improved unaccountably.
The biggest evidence of change, however, is in the perceptions of those who were caught up in the anomaly. Says Roy, “They say when you get over the hill time picks up speed, but I thought they were kidding!” These kinds of thoughts are clearly inappropriate for one in his mid-thirties, particularly since the life expectancy for males of his age in the United States is 75. His wife notes with a tight smirk that her husband, an amateur genealogist, “has some funny concepts about time. He thinks it’s out to get him.”
In the meantime, local scientists are still studying the phenomenon and expect it to linger into 2010. Some concerns have been expressed among the engineers that the effects of the phenomenon may not remain local. Says Roy, “We just don’t know how widespread this is going to be. It certainly looks like 2010 will be a better year – not to say that 2009 was bad; in fact, it was great – but we won’t know until after 2010 has passed.”
The engineers and scientists all agree, however, that the best advice for those who may experience this phenomenon is to stay with their families as much as possible. This seems to temper the effects and makes more meaningful the time that is actually experienced.
Roy, as the primary discoverer of this phenomenon, is expected to travel to Washington, D.C. in the spring to receive the Nobel Prize in Temporal Science, but he admits that this phenomenon may prevent that experience.
AP – Saugus An engineer from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced today the discovery of unnatural folds in time that affected the general vicinity of the laboratory. Cited as an accidental discovery, it appears as if the year 2009 was compressed into a series of disjointed events.
Geographically, the phenomenon extended as far south as Disneyland, where visitors to the park couldn’t account for where all their money had been spent. Nearby to the north, wildfires raged during the summer months which seemed to spread far faster than would normally be possible. The Laboratory itself was spared, but the fire burned to the foothills above and adjacent to the facility.
To the northwest, in Saugus, whole households were apparently affected. Many continue to experience confusion as they consider the passage of time during the previous year. “This year just went so fast!” exclaimed Roy, father of three and engineer at JPL.
The first observer of this phenomenon, Roy says he knew that something was different from the beginning of the year. “I just wasn’t able to get things done like I normally do,” he said. “My family was affected, too. For example, I know for a fact that we took a vacation to Yellowstone this summer, but for some reason, all I can recall are vague memories. I mean, we took almost 500 pictures and bought a few trinkets, but this hat with a grizzly footprint on it is a total mystery to me.”
His wife, standing nearby, expressed similar concerns, but her worries were more related to her children, who seem to be taller than can be accounted for. “They just keep growing! I buy my oldest son a pair of pants and within a month or two they’re floods! And his feet, oh, his feet! He’s going to need to start buying canoes soon. Seriously, there is no way a boy can grow that fast!”
Questioning [this son] directly, evidence mounted as his responses were mumbled and he rolled his eyes as only a pre-teen can do. However, his sister, who turned eight this year and was baptized by her father in October, states that she remembers that particular event vividly. She says she also loved going camping at Big Sur, touring the Lighthouse at Pointe Sur, and visiting the Monterey Bay Aquarium. “It was awesome! I loved seeing all the fish – especially the great white shark. It is the only one known to be in captivity!” she says authoritatively.
When asked about how time has gone by so quickly, her younger brother simply said he’s going to be 5 in April and he’ll be bigger then. [These children's mother] indicated that [her youngest son] is in pre-school and has learned all his letters and letter sounds, and can do some basic math. Apparently, though, these and his skills as a master Lego builder have improved unaccountably.
The biggest evidence of change, however, is in the perceptions of those who were caught up in the anomaly. Says Roy, “They say when you get over the hill time picks up speed, but I thought they were kidding!” These kinds of thoughts are clearly inappropriate for one in his mid-thirties, particularly since the life expectancy for males of his age in the United States is 75. His wife notes with a tight smirk that her husband, an amateur genealogist, “has some funny concepts about time. He thinks it’s out to get him.”
In the meantime, local scientists are still studying the phenomenon and expect it to linger into 2010. Some concerns have been expressed among the engineers that the effects of the phenomenon may not remain local. Says Roy, “We just don’t know how widespread this is going to be. It certainly looks like 2010 will be a better year – not to say that 2009 was bad; in fact, it was great – but we won’t know until after 2010 has passed.”
The engineers and scientists all agree, however, that the best advice for those who may experience this phenomenon is to stay with their families as much as possible. This seems to temper the effects and makes more meaningful the time that is actually experienced.
Roy, as the primary discoverer of this phenomenon, is expected to travel to Washington, D.C. in the spring to receive the Nobel Prize in Temporal Science, but he admits that this phenomenon may prevent that experience.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Important Questions
"Why did God make bees and honey ... and peanut butter ... and not make us with four arms?" My youngest son asked this of me last week during church. Great questions, all!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Small World Destroyed
AP-Anaheim Disneyland's "it's a small world" suffered disaster today, ending in the soaking of dozens of families riding the amusement park attraction, and the complete destruction of the ride.
According to survivors of the incident, things went awry immediately when Ben Grimm, otherwise known as the Thing of Fantastic Four fame, decided to take a ride.
"He looked agitated from the moment he got on," said Emily Smith, a survivor who entered one of the ride's boats just behind Grimm. "As the ride started, he starting yelling at the characters as we passed by, saying they were insulting his intelligence. I was just worried about my kids."
Other survivors indicated that Grimm began to gesture violently at the characters of the ride and about halfway through decided to get out of the boat. Strictly against park policy, the park's security personnel were called to the scene in an attempt to calm the clearly disturbed Grimm.
Soon after, a few of Grimm's colleagues joined him inside the building that houses the ride. Witnesses say that an argument began between Grimm and Johnny Storm, otherwise known as the Human Torch, also of the Fantastic Four. Said Mike Aguirre, "Soon Johnny was shooting fireballs at that Thing."
Nearby riders, huddling in the ride's boats, found themselves diving into the water to keep from getting burned in the fracas. At this point, the building caught fire, and Grimm reportedly began moving from room to room in what can only be surmised as an attempt to put out the fire. This resulted in severe damage to the superstructure of the building itself. One member of the security staff, who was one of the first on the scene and witnessed the incident, said, "It was crazy! This guy was just pounding away at the 'small world' characters. It was kinda like he was trying to put out the fire, but I think that dude has some serious anger issues, too."
The park fire department was called to the scene and additional help was called in from nearby fire stations. Some confusion occurred at the gates when park security insisted that the firemen pay full admission before entering the park. It was only after Robert Iger, Disney CEO, rushed to the scene, yelling, "Let them in, let them in! Small world is burning down, you idiots!" that the firemen were allowed to enter the park to aid in the suppression of the fire.
Several hours later, the building was completely engulfed in flame, with the structure itself collapsing due to the internal damage caused by Grimm. In the end, all the riders had been safely removed from the building and there were no injuries. As clean-up of the site was finishing, Grimm was heard to say, "Oops."
It is expected that charges will be filed.
Meanwhile, it was announced on Wall Street that the Walt Disney Co. is purchasing Marvel Entertainment Inc. for the unprecedented amount of $4 billion in cash and stock. This news was met with Disney stock falling 3% while Marvel stock surged over 25%. Mickey Mouse reportedly squeaked that his good friend Walt was probably rolling over in his grave at the news.
As one person said, "The Happiest Place on Earth is gonna get pretty gnarly."
According to survivors of the incident, things went awry immediately when Ben Grimm, otherwise known as the Thing of Fantastic Four fame, decided to take a ride.
"He looked agitated from the moment he got on," said Emily Smith, a survivor who entered one of the ride's boats just behind Grimm. "As the ride started, he starting yelling at the characters as we passed by, saying they were insulting his intelligence. I was just worried about my kids."
Other survivors indicated that Grimm began to gesture violently at the characters of the ride and about halfway through decided to get out of the boat. Strictly against park policy, the park's security personnel were called to the scene in an attempt to calm the clearly disturbed Grimm.
Soon after, a few of Grimm's colleagues joined him inside the building that houses the ride. Witnesses say that an argument began between Grimm and Johnny Storm, otherwise known as the Human Torch, also of the Fantastic Four. Said Mike Aguirre, "Soon Johnny was shooting fireballs at that Thing."
Nearby riders, huddling in the ride's boats, found themselves diving into the water to keep from getting burned in the fracas. At this point, the building caught fire, and Grimm reportedly began moving from room to room in what can only be surmised as an attempt to put out the fire. This resulted in severe damage to the superstructure of the building itself. One member of the security staff, who was one of the first on the scene and witnessed the incident, said, "It was crazy! This guy was just pounding away at the 'small world' characters. It was kinda like he was trying to put out the fire, but I think that dude has some serious anger issues, too."
The park fire department was called to the scene and additional help was called in from nearby fire stations. Some confusion occurred at the gates when park security insisted that the firemen pay full admission before entering the park. It was only after Robert Iger, Disney CEO, rushed to the scene, yelling, "Let them in, let them in! Small world is burning down, you idiots!" that the firemen were allowed to enter the park to aid in the suppression of the fire.
Several hours later, the building was completely engulfed in flame, with the structure itself collapsing due to the internal damage caused by Grimm. In the end, all the riders had been safely removed from the building and there were no injuries. As clean-up of the site was finishing, Grimm was heard to say, "Oops."
It is expected that charges will be filed.
Meanwhile, it was announced on Wall Street that the Walt Disney Co. is purchasing Marvel Entertainment Inc. for the unprecedented amount of $4 billion in cash and stock. This news was met with Disney stock falling 3% while Marvel stock surged over 25%. Mickey Mouse reportedly squeaked that his good friend Walt was probably rolling over in his grave at the news.
As one person said, "The Happiest Place on Earth is gonna get pretty gnarly."
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Something
Tonight, I heard my youngest upstairs getting into something. I ask, "What are you doing?"
His reply? "Nothing."
Now, my son is three, and he's never said that before. I expect that kind of ambiguity from my nine-year-old, not my three-year-old, so I say, "That's not true. You must be doing something. What are you doing?"
"Something."
I couldn't help but laugh.
So, what was he doing? He was playing with his sisters toys, which he knows she gets grumpy about. Since she was in the shower, he could get into them without her knowledge, and since both me and his mom were downstairs, it seemed clear he could get away with it. Ah, the lessons each child learns ...
His reply? "Nothing."
Now, my son is three, and he's never said that before. I expect that kind of ambiguity from my nine-year-old, not my three-year-old, so I say, "That's not true. You must be doing something. What are you doing?"
"Something."
I couldn't help but laugh.
So, what was he doing? He was playing with his sisters toys, which he knows she gets grumpy about. Since she was in the shower, he could get into them without her knowledge, and since both me and his mom were downstairs, it seemed clear he could get away with it. Ah, the lessons each child learns ...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Zombies
I usually cruise the news online when I'm eating lunch, and today I found something particularly noteworthy. This is a true public service announcement.Construction signs warn
of zombies
Seriously. This is important stuff. When you see signs like this, definitely keep your eyes open.
Friday, November 28, 2008
A Pig In Your Pants
No joke, this is the exchange I just had with my youngest son:
My daughter: Dad! He has a pig in his underwear! [She's referring to a little plastic toy pig.]
Me: What do you mean he's got a pig in his underwear?
My daughter: He put a toy pig in his underwear!
Me: [Son], take that pig out of your underwear!
Youngest son: [He gives me a blank look.] But why?
Me: You shouldn't put anything in your underwear.
YS: Oh.
Me: Take that pig out of your underwear.
YS: I can't!
Me: What do you mean you can't?
YS: It's stuck!
Me: Come here. I'll help you. [I take the pig out and buckle up his pants.]
YS: Dad, unbuckle my pants!
Me: Why?
YS: So I can put things in there.
Me: That's what your pockets are for!
YS: [He shows a dawning expression.] Oh! I forgot!
Gotta love kids! But seriously, it's never good to have a pig in your pants.
My daughter: Dad! He has a pig in his underwear! [She's referring to a little plastic toy pig.]
Me: What do you mean he's got a pig in his underwear?
My daughter: He put a toy pig in his underwear!
Me: [Son], take that pig out of your underwear!
Youngest son: [He gives me a blank look.] But why?
Me: You shouldn't put anything in your underwear.
YS: Oh.
Me: Take that pig out of your underwear.
YS: I can't!
Me: What do you mean you can't?
YS: It's stuck!
Me: Come here. I'll help you. [I take the pig out and buckle up his pants.]
YS: Dad, unbuckle my pants!
Me: Why?
YS: So I can put things in there.
Me: That's what your pockets are for!
YS: [He shows a dawning expression.] Oh! I forgot!
Gotta love kids! But seriously, it's never good to have a pig in your pants.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Babe
Apparently, my three-year-old was at preschool the other day and was having a conversation with his teacher when he announced, "My mommy is so happy!"
"Why is your mommy so happy?" she inquired.
"Because she's married!" he says.
The teacher then went on to ask what his mother's name was, to which he replied, "Babe!"
The teacher got a good chuckle out of that, as did both my wife and I. Apparently I call my wife that far too much in the presence of my children. My older kids are unphased by it, but it seems I've confused my youngest. Very funny.
(As a side query, just how exactly did the word "babe" come to mean an attractive young female?!)
"Why is your mommy so happy?" she inquired.
"Because she's married!" he says.
The teacher then went on to ask what his mother's name was, to which he replied, "Babe!"
The teacher got a good chuckle out of that, as did both my wife and I. Apparently I call my wife that far too much in the presence of my children. My older kids are unphased by it, but it seems I've confused my youngest. Very funny.
(As a side query, just how exactly did the word "babe" come to mean an attractive young female?!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Funny Headline
The linked article has a funny, and eyebrow-raising, headline:
Big Bang experiment gets turned on.
You know somebody somewhere (or is it Robert Evans, the author?) is laughing his head off. Too funny.
Big Bang experiment gets turned on.
You know somebody somewhere (or is it Robert Evans, the author?) is laughing his head off. Too funny.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A Funny (Embarrassing) Moment
Okay, so this afternoon I experienced an embarrassing moment. It wasn't one of my own embarrassing moments, but one of somebody I hardly know. I was at my daughter's gymnastics practice with my youngest son, and he was playing with another three-year-old. The little boy (not my son) was talking incessantly and his mother came over several times to tell me that if he was bothering me then I should tell her and she'll move him away. Honestly, he wasn't a bother, as my son was happily playing and sharing with him. We were, in fact, having funny little conversations, and I was amused.
Well, the third time this little boy's mother came over and finished telling me that I could ask her to take him away if he was bothering me, her little boy decided at that very moment to announce to me that, "My daddy has a big wee wee!" My jaw dropped, her face flushed, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.
She immediately gathered him up, clearly unhappy and mortified by the situation, and took him away to lecture him about things that are inappropriate to talk about. I just looked at her with a big smile and said, "You know, this is one of those times when you just think, 'I'm glad my kid didn't say that.'"
She made her retreat, while I barely suppressed my snicker. Honestly, I wasn't remotely offended, and would've given him the very same lecture she no doubt gave him in much sterner words about keeping private things private. It was hilarious.
Well, the third time this little boy's mother came over and finished telling me that I could ask her to take him away if he was bothering me, her little boy decided at that very moment to announce to me that, "My daddy has a big wee wee!" My jaw dropped, her face flushed, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.
She immediately gathered him up, clearly unhappy and mortified by the situation, and took him away to lecture him about things that are inappropriate to talk about. I just looked at her with a big smile and said, "You know, this is one of those times when you just think, 'I'm glad my kid didn't say that.'"
She made her retreat, while I barely suppressed my snicker. Honestly, I wasn't remotely offended, and would've given him the very same lecture she no doubt gave him in much sterner words about keeping private things private. It was hilarious.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Funny Blogs
Blogger.com has a little section when you log in that lists blogs with entries that have recently been posted. Sometimes I click on these just to go snooping. Today, I clicked on this link, which is a blog documenting some of the worst real estate photographs ever to be posted online. While paging through many pages during my lunch break (just now), several times I nearly snorted my diet shake out my nose. It's incredible what lazy or clueless people will do. Very funny.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Man Shoots Lawnmower
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt like doing that! And really, why is this illegal? It's his lawnmower, and his house, and his gun is probably legal ...
Man shoots his lawn mower, police say
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.
Keith Walendowski told police he felt he had a right to shoot his mower.
Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning.
He told police: "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."
A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.
Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
A call to Walendowski's home went unanswered.
Man shoots his lawn mower, police say
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.
Keith Walendowski told police he felt he had a right to shoot his mower.
Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning.
He told police: "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."
A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.
Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
A call to Walendowski's home went unanswered.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Very Funny
5th-grader finds mistake at Smithsonian
ALLEGAN, Mich. - Is fifth-grader Kenton Stufflebeam smarter than the Smithsonian? The 11-year-old boy, who lives in Allegan but attends Alamo Elementary School near Kalamazoo, went with his family during winter break to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History in Washington.
Since it opened in 1981, millions of people have paraded past the museum's Tower of Time, a display involving prehistoric time. Not one visitor had reported anything amiss with the exhibit until Kenton noticed that a notation, in bold lettering, identified the Precambrian as an era.
Kenton knew that was wrong. His fifth-grade teacher, John Chapman, had nearly made the same mistake in a classroom earth-science lesson before catching himself.
"I knew Mr. Chapman wouldn't tell all these students" bad information, the boy told the Kalamazoo Gazette for a story published Wednesday.
So Kevin Stufflebeam took his son to the museum's information desk to report Kenton's concern on a comment form. Last week, the boy received a letter from the museum acknowledging that his observation was "spot on."
"The Precambrian is a dimensionless unit of time, which embraces all the time between the origin of Earth and the beginning of the Cambrian Period of geologic time," the letter says.
The solution to the problem would not involve advanced science but rather simply painting over the word "era," the note says.
"We did forward a copy of the comment and our paleobiology department's response to the head of the exhibits department," said Lorraine Ramsdell, educational technician for the museum.
While no previous visitors to the museum had brought up the error, it has long rankled the paleobiology department's staff, who noticed it even before the Tower of Time was erected 27 years ago, she said.
"The question is, why was it put up with that on it in the first place?" Ramsdell said.
Excited as he was to receive the correspondence from museum officials, he couldn't help but point out that it was addressed to Kenton Slufflebeam.
In Allegany.
ALLEGAN, Mich. - Is fifth-grader Kenton Stufflebeam smarter than the Smithsonian? The 11-year-old boy, who lives in Allegan but attends Alamo Elementary School near Kalamazoo, went with his family during winter break to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History in Washington.
Since it opened in 1981, millions of people have paraded past the museum's Tower of Time, a display involving prehistoric time. Not one visitor had reported anything amiss with the exhibit until Kenton noticed that a notation, in bold lettering, identified the Precambrian as an era.
Kenton knew that was wrong. His fifth-grade teacher, John Chapman, had nearly made the same mistake in a classroom earth-science lesson before catching himself.
"I knew Mr. Chapman wouldn't tell all these students" bad information, the boy told the Kalamazoo Gazette for a story published Wednesday.
So Kevin Stufflebeam took his son to the museum's information desk to report Kenton's concern on a comment form. Last week, the boy received a letter from the museum acknowledging that his observation was "spot on."
"The Precambrian is a dimensionless unit of time, which embraces all the time between the origin of Earth and the beginning of the Cambrian Period of geologic time," the letter says.
The solution to the problem would not involve advanced science but rather simply painting over the word "era," the note says.
"We did forward a copy of the comment and our paleobiology department's response to the head of the exhibits department," said Lorraine Ramsdell, educational technician for the museum.
While no previous visitors to the museum had brought up the error, it has long rankled the paleobiology department's staff, who noticed it even before the Tower of Time was erected 27 years ago, she said.
"The question is, why was it put up with that on it in the first place?" Ramsdell said.
Excited as he was to receive the correspondence from museum officials, he couldn't help but point out that it was addressed to Kenton Slufflebeam.
In Allegany.
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