Gratitude Day 5 - The Beach

Today, with many of my in-laws staying at my house, we decided to head to the beach so that their Utah selves could brag about how un-cold they were in the frigid water and crisp, breezy wind.  My Gratitude List is related to this:

1) I'm grateful that I live within an hour of the beach, so that I can go and enjoy the beauty of that natural setting.  Today, the tide was VERY low ... lower than I'd ever seen, with an extensive expanse of beach and tide pools for everybody to enjoy.
2) I'm grateful that I have a kayak that I can take out on to that ocean because I find it so enjoyable to be out on the water.
3) I'm grateful I survived attempting to get the kayak out past the water today so I can be grateful another day, because any sane person would've taken one look at those waves and would have realized they'd have been crazy to attempt to try to swim past the crashing breakers.  (I ended up taking the kayak to the marina, carrying it over my head with the help of my nephews-in-law until we finally arrived and could enjoy the serenity of the marina.)

So, there you have it for today!

Gratitude Day 4 - Thanksgiving

Well, today is Thanksgiving, so of course my list is going to be along that theme:

1) I'm grateful for excuses to take some time off of work to get together with family and eat copious amounts of food, because it's good for me to do that so I don't become a working drone.
2) I'm grateful that I was able to take my oldest son to play football in the annual "Turkey Bowl" for the first time this morning so that I have the great memories of him making a lateral pass (even if it was in a panic), pulling somebody's flags, and bobbling a few catches.
3) I'm grateful that we have the resources to have a comfortable life with a roof over my head, food on my table, and all the comforts of modern society so that I can have time to relax and enjoy myself doing "useless" things.

Well, there's my list for the day.  Thanksgiving rocks!  We have many of my in-laws in town and the house is quite full.  With 10 children under feet, it's also very loud, but we're loving it.  Tomorrow we expect to go to the beach and go kayaking, and then on Saturday we'll probably put up the Christmas lights.  It's looking to be a great weekend!

Oh, and yesterday I took my youngest son to Six Flags Magic Mountain and we rode a total of 3 rides (Revolution, the Sky Tower, and Ninja) but we had a great time together.

Gratitude Day 3

Tonight my items of gratitude have no theme:

1) I'm grateful for my youngest son, whose quickness to laughter and bright-eyed wonder at the world makes me so very happy.
2) I'm grateful for extended family who will drive 12 hours (okay, one family made the trip in 9 1/2 hours?! with their teenager behind the wheel at times?!?!?) to come see us for Thanksgiving, as it always warms my heart that people will make such a sacrifice to come and see us.
3) I'm grateful for Thanksgiving, as I don't spend enough time being grateful and it is a good reminder to be so.

Well, that's it!

Gratitude Day 2 - The Temple

Tonight I took my oldest son to the L.A. Temple to do baptisms for the dead.  It was a great experience, and so my 3 things for my Gratitude List are related to that:

1) I'm grateful for the temple, and the blessings that can be had there, especially those of eternal marriage and eternal families, and that I can be sealed to my dear wife and children (and ancestors) and be with them forever.
2) I'm grateful that my oldest son is now old enough to go to the temple to do baptisms for our ancestors, as it was a great bonding experience between us.
3) I'm grateful that my oldest son is mature enough to appreciate the great work that goes on in the temple, as this means a lot to me that he is beginning to glimpse what that sacred place means to me.

So, there you have it.  Note a few things about tonight's entries ... as I write each item, I'm trying to write why these things are important to me personally.  This is harder than it looks!  Typically, one simply says one is grateful for things, without really saying why.  I think this next month is going to be illuminating for me ...

A Month of Gratitude - Day 1

For Family Home Evening tonight, my wife gave a lesson on gratitude.  Even though this is a seasonal topic, it is one that we always need to keep in mind a little more than we do.  As part of her lesson, she challenged each member of our family to record three things every night that we're grateful for.  I suggested we target doing so for a month, and since this blog is my sort-of-journal, this is where I'm going to record it.  So, for the next month, I'll have a blog entry each day with three things listed that I'm grateful for.

So, without further ado, here's my list for tonight:

1) I'm grateful for my wife who is far more spiritually in tune than I am and that she encourages me to be a kinder and gentler person.
2) I'm grateful that my wife provides service whenever called upon to do so, and makes dinner for people who are in need, just like she did tonight.
3) I'm grateful that my wife is grateful for me, because I do not underestimate the importance of spousal validation.

Now, don't think that I'm cheating by always complimenting my wife, as the challenge was to be specific -- none of this "I'm grateful for everything you do" nonsense.  So, we'll see how this goes.  If I run out of time, or forget a day or two, I hereby commit myself to go back and make it up, so there will be no fewer than 90 items listed by the time I'm done.  (You know, when I think of it that way, it doesn't sound like this will be all that hard ...  Even so, I think developing a better habit of expressing gratitude is a worthy endeavor.).

So, let the experiment begin!

On Merit Badges

I am an Eagle Scout.  I am "proud" of being so for just about as long as it takes for me to remember that if it wasn't for my mother's encouragement, prodding, and not-so-subtle insistence, I wouldn't be one.  So it is that I have a fairly long history with the Boy Scouts of America.  While a Boy Scout, I went on more campouts than I can remember, attended the National Boy Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P. Hill, Virginia; and even went so far as to keep going with earning merit badges until I had earned an Eagle Palm after getting my Eagle.

That said, I was always on the "scout" side of the Boy Scout program.  More recently, though, I've been more involved in the "leader" side of the program.  A decade back, I was asked to help with the 11-year-old scouts in my ward, where I was specifically tasked with the objective to help the boys under my charge reach the rank of 1st Class before turning 12.  That was my charge, and I took it very seriously.  I am once again "proud" of the fact that many of those boys that came under my wing at that time continued to pursue scouting until they, too, became Eagle Scouts.  Once again, this pride remains with me only as long as it takes for me to remember that it is the boys who accomplished that feat, not me.

So it is that my oldest son is now formally a Boy Scout, having reached the mighty age of 12.  Having completed the requirements for his First Class, he is now entering the wonderful world of merit badges.  He has recently been attending some events sponsored by the stake -- something called a "Merit Badge Midway" and other merit badge workshops sponsored on Thursday nights.   At these events, he can complete most (if not all) of the requirements for the merit badges he works on.  So far he has completed 4 merit badges, and he's only been working on them for a few months.

This mode of scouting, namely the mode where the focus moves away from a checklist of skills to be learned (knot tying, first aid, outdoor cooking, etc.) and instead moves towards earning merit badges, seems to suit him particularly well.  It certainly is a much less stressful thing on my wife, who previously was always poking and prodding him to do the tasks for the lower ranks.  She is delighted that he is now moving into this realm where he must take more personal responsibility for advancing in rank, and even more delighted that he seems to be up to the task.

As for me, my previous experience with the 11-year-old scouts mostly ended at 1st Class, and I only dabbled in helping the boys earn merit badges, something that at the time I didn't enjoy at all.  Now, however, I'm having a great time.  As I'm working with the 12- and 13-year-olds as the Assistant Scoutmaster, I am enjoying pretty much everything -- the planning, the training of the boys, the camping, and the encouraging of the boys to get the merit badges.  I never thought I'd actually like doing this, and yet I do.

I'm getting a kick out of constantly asking my son, "So, what else do you have to do for that merit badge?" and him responding with a well-timed roll of the eyes and a grumble as he trundles off to get the binder with his merit badge paperwork.  I'm of the opinion that these boys should finish with their Eagle before they turn 14, as I recall how difficult it was to finish things up when I was 15-turning-16.  Hopefully my son can pull that off, but again, the best part about this whole thing?  It's now on his shoulders, not mine.

After all, I already have my Eagle (thanks, Mom!).

(Irony noted ...)

An Interesting Night

Here's the rundown of my evening:

• Got home from work.
• Played Lego Indiana Jones with my youngest son.
• Had dinner with the family.
• Watched a Charlie Brown cartoon with the kids (It's Magic, Charlie Brown).
• Skipped soccer practice for my daughter because she's not feeling well.
• Read Harry Potter to all 3 kids, who were paying rapt attention.
• Put the kids to bed.
• Couldn't find the cat, so I spent the evening walking the neighborhood calling for her like an idiot, posting signs all over the place, only to have her show herself right when I walk through the door in exhaustion.  Then I had to go out again and take down all the signs.  Glad we found her, but ...  Stupid cat.
• Now my wife is downstairs blow-drying the bread she made tonight.  (Don't ask.)

Yeah, weird night.

Geobraking

I was reading an article on some of the progress made when studying the samples from the Genesis spacecraft. One sentence made me snort (yes, actually snort):

On September 8, 2004, the spacecraft's sample-return capsule came to rest in the Utah desert after executing what might euphemistically be described as a geobraking maneuver when the parachute failed to deploy.

I'm well-acquainted with aerobraking, having helped with the aerobraking operations for both the Odyssey and MRO spacecraft, and as I was actually in Utah watching the Genesis return (see here) when it performed this so-called geobraking maneuver, this new word just made me laugh.

Gotta love it.

On Adopting Another Child

My wife and I have been trying to have another child for about 5 years, with no success.  We were able to conceive a few years ago, but that ended in a miscarriage. Since then, things haven't gone well for us in that regards.  My wife's hypoglycemia has continued to monkey with her biology and though she remains quite healthy, her reproductive system appears to no longer be functional.

So, we've elected to adopt.  This isn't a new thing for us ... we've actually been contemplating and researching this for several years.  My wife's brother adopted a baby boy twelve years ago through LDS Family Services when they believed that they couldn't have any children after their first son was born.  (And there they now are with two more biological children, for a total of four!  Go figure.)  Having watched their lengthy and sometimes painful experience, we have no illusions about how easy this whole process will be.

Even so, we feel that it is something we should do.  Our family of three children, which is wonderful and which we greatly appreciate and love, just doesn't seem ... complete.  There's no way to really describe it and -- for those who aren't in tune with their spiritual sides this won't make any sense -- we have felt for a long time that our family should have at least one more child.  We're open to two more children, if that's how the adoption process works out, but we'll be happy with just one more.

Our children are delighted at the prospect.  Our daughter, in particular, is keen on having a little girl join our family, but she knows that the sex of the baby is completely outside of our control.  Yesterday I caught her (the mighty 10 year old that she is) cuddling a baby doll in her arms and carrying it gently up the stairs.  I said nothing, but she bashfully smiled under my bemused regard and went on her way.

There are many options for adopting a child.  The one that seems to be the "easiest" is to go with an international adoption.  This approach, however, is prohibitively expensive for us.

A second option is to go through Los Angeles county's adoption services.  This approach, however, is coupled with the courts system, which implies that any baby that we might get would likely come from an abusive or drug-exposed home.  In addition, the county is more interested in keeping families together than in placing adoptive children.  To make matters worse, the training and "certification" programs are designed around first-time parents and are very lengthy and intrusive.  We already have a family that needs my wife and I here in the home, not spending many weekends off at some ineffectual training course.  Neither are we interested in a "special needs" child (fault us in this regards, if you must).  The uncertainties in the court process, however, was the killer for us -- we don't want to have a baby in our home for up to two years, only to have it yanked as some judge decides to return it to the birth mother.

A third option is to use LDS Family Services, as my wife's brother did over a decade ago.  We began looking into this and were refused help due to a recent policy change that declines to provide services to couples that have more than two children.  So much for that.  However, they did say that they will help us with the legal stuff if we were to find our own adoptive mother.

(An aside: The policy actually reads that they won't provide services to couples who have more than two biological children.  We grumbled at the fact that we noted prospective adoptive couples on their website who have mixed biological and adopted children who number more than two, and it was clarified for us that the policy is for all children, biological or adoptive, and that those couples on the website who have more than two are "grandfathered" in -- implying that they've been waiting for a long time to adopt another child.)

Which brings us to option four, which is to find our own adoptive mother.  This is the path that we've elected to take.  It has only a small chance of success, but we figure that given everything else, it's the best option for our little family.  To that end, we've begun reaching out to everybody we know.  Some years ago, I joined Facebook as an experiment to see how many people I could friend from my past ... I was stunned by the magnitude of my results, but now find that my connection to all those people is a great and wonderful thing.  We'll see if it works out.

The crazy and ironic thing about this whole adoption thing, which is intended to be a virtuous and noble (albeit somewhat selfish) endeavor, is that we seek to take advantage of somebody's misfortune.  We're looking for a young woman (though we'll take a not-so-young woman, too!) who finds herself pregnant without desiring to be so (though we'll take a woman who simply likes to be pregnant, too!).

Despite the circumstances of this woman's life, we hope that this woman will respect and love her unborn child enough to care properly for herself so that when the baby is born, it will be healthy and strong, even though this birth mother would not be the one to benefit from the effort it takes to do so.

We equally hope that this mother might see within my family a place where her child can be placed with confidence that it will be cherished and appreciated, loved and adored.  We also recognize, however, that emotional attachment is not everything, and we would hope that this mother would also recognize that my home is one that is safe and secure, where I am able to provide the resources to rear her child with all the appropriate educational, medical, financial, and social opportunities that can enable a happy childhood and a stable environment in which to grow into a responsible adult.

It's a lot to ask. We ask for a mother to simply give her child to us.  In return, we promise to take care of her baby to the best of our abilities and with all our resources as if the baby was one of our own.  This promise, this covenant, is one we take with the utmost of seriousness, yet we are so powerless to bring it to fruition.

So we wait.  And we talk to people.  And we post blog entries like this one, and Facebook statii, and make phone calls, and talk to people at work and at church and in the supermarket and on the street with the neighborhood kids and, well, you get the picture.  We've set up a blog dedicated specifically to a prospective birth mother, that she may get to know our family a little and see a little about what we're about.  Check it out: http://royandangel.blogspot.com.  We've even set up an email where contact can be made specifically on this topic: royandangel@yahoo.com.

So, please, if you know of somebody who might be in a position to let their child be adopted, please pass a note on to her.  We would be most appreciative.  Until then, the wait continues ...

Life Changes

I haven't written in this space for a while because, well, I've been busy. It's clear that sometimes actually living life prevents you from documenting it. That said, this post is a quick run-down on what I've been doing, for all those who have been holding their breath:

• I went to Utah to visit with the in-laws for my wife's parent's 50th wedding anniversary. If you recall, we went to see my parents for their 50th wedding anniversary earlier in the year. To be blessed with those examples of marital fidelity from not one, but both sides of the family is a real treat, and I wish I could express to everybody what an amazing accomplishment I find that to be. In today's world where everything seems temporary, it's wonderful to see that some people still know what it means to make a promise, and keep it, forever.
  
• I went to Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, MD, again -- this time for a peer review that served as a pre-meeting for a design review that has now been moved to the new year. A "pre-review" is a "pre-meeting". Yeah, we laugh at Dilbert where I work, but it is painfully reflective of the truth sometimes.
  
• I went to ESA's Spacecraft Operations Center (ESOC) in Darmstadt, Germany, again - this time for a one-day "technical interchange meeting" on lots of topics we needed to address. I went with only one other fellow, so it was a whirlwind trip, but it was well-worth it. We got a lot done.
  
• We took a vacation and went to the beach during one our kid's fall break. We went up to El Capitan State Beach and camped out. We hauled the beach gear and the bicycles and the kayak, somehow managing to cram it all into and on our van; and ended up only using the first two. Even so, we had a wonderful time, even though the freight train that blew its horn and seemed to come through our tent at 2 am still makes me a little twitchy when I think about it.
  
• We've installed the latest version of the software for which I'm the task lead at work, which was quite a feat given that I've been out of town the bulk of the last month.

Some other changes in the family:

• Our oldest son is in the process of getting braces.
  
• My two younger children are participating in soccer, and between practices three times a week and games on Saturday, we're BUSY.
  
• My wife and I have decided we'd like to adopt another child. I'll post more on this later, but see here for the relevant blog.
  
• I conferred the Aaronic Priesthood on my oldest son and ordained him to the office of a deacon. He's very excited about being with the bigger boys, and he is maturing into quite the young man (in fits and starts).
  

So, life is busy, but good. When people ask "what's new" in our lives, I don't have anything really to say, as life just keeps moving onward. This is a great blessing, and I only wish that I could somehow bottle how good life is right now and keep it affixed in my slippery memory.