Two More Weeks of Summer!

I've written in this space before about my increasing disillusionment with the public school system. To that end, early this calendar year we pulled my oldest son to home school him, and we have now enrolled him in a charter school. We wanted to get the two younger children in the same place, if for no other reason than to synchronize their schedules. Having two sets of school calendars to keep was going to drive us crazy. Therefore, we put the two of them on the wait list to get in to the charter school, as well, with high hopes but a healthy cynicism that they would actually get in.

Well, yesterday I got a call from the school saying that both the younger kids also got into this school! The lady on the phone identified herself, told me that the kids had been accepted, and then proceed to start to ask me if I wanted to enroll them. I didn't even let her finish her question, and interrupted her to answer, "We'll do it!"

We are so excited. They were supposed to start school today over at the public elementary school. My youngest, in particular, was going to be in all-day kindergarten (something we did not want), so we were struggling with having them start.

With their acceptance at the charter school, though, things have changed quite a bit. My wife immediately called the other school and told them we were pulling our kids. Apparently the school were not very happy about that, as they've been struggling with enrollment. She also whirled around the house collecting all the stuff that was needed to get them enrolled at the charter school, including:

* Filled out applications to attend the school (many LONG forms to fill out)
* The kids birth certificates
* Copies of their immunization records
* Proof of our residency in the area, namely her drivers license or a utility bill

She'll be taking all this stuff over today to make it all official.

Now we have two more weeks of summer to play with all three of the kids. This is wonderful, and I greatly look forward to it.

To top it all off, today is my birthday. Since I need to be at work, we're kind of stretching out the birthday celebrations all weekend. Yesterday we went out to eat for dinner, today we'll be having birthday cake, Friday we'll be going to the beach to use my birthday present, the kayak we bought a few months back. Saturday, my wife arranged for us to go to a Harry Connick, Jr. concert at the Hollywood Bowl (many thanks to our good friends in the ward, who made that possible!). And Sunday is stake conference at church, so I get to spend nearly the whole day with my family.

Awesome.

I think most normal parents can't wait for school to start so they can get the kids out from under foot. While we do have some of those feelings, we actually have felt unprepared about the whole thing, and weren't quite mentally ready to send them off. Having those extra few weeks will be much better!

Spaghettify

My oldest son made up a new word today:

Spaghettification: The act of being made into spaghetti, usually while being sucked into a black hole. Other forms: v. spaghettify, adv. spaghettified, n. spaghettifier.

Awesome.

Unhappy Day Today

Unhappy day today. Even with a majority of people agreeing with me, I've just learned that it is not okay for me to believe that an institution that has been around for millennia should remain as it is, because there is a small minority of people who want to redefine it to include relationships that are by their very nature characterized by behavior that I consider to be sinful (along with pretty much everybody that follows any world religion). Marriage has been hijacked and the collective will of the people flaunted. Unhappy day.

Judge overturns California's ban on same-sex marriage

Bucket List

I found this list on somebody's Facebook page, and as I started reading through it, I realized that I've actually done quite a few things on the list. Does this mean I'm near to "kicking the bucket"? I certainly hope not!

Anyway, so the list is as follows, with items I've done marked with an "X" and items I have not listed with a zero:

(0) Gone on a blind date (Somehow I've never done this. My wife'd be miffed if I tried to do that now, too ... so this will have to be left undone.)
(X) Skipped school (don't let my kids see this!)
(0) Watched someone die (I'm going to mark this "no", even though I've seen people die on video -- disturbing)
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(0) Been to Florida
(X) Been to Hawaii
(X) Flown in a plane
(0) Flown in a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep (oh, those teenage years ...)
(X) Played cops and robbers (oh, those pre-teen years ...)
(X) Recently colored with crayons (with my kids, okay?)
(X) Sang Karaoke (ditto, and I don't like it)
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only (once bought pizza with pennies)
(0) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(0) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere (the nose, yes, but elsewhere? no, not really)
(X) Been to the top of a 100+ story building (the Empire State Building)
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(0) Danced in the rain-naked (hmm ...)
(X) Been skinny-dipping (my parents owned a pool, okay?!)
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
(0) Been deep sea fishing
(0) Driven across the United States
(0) Been in a hot air balloon
(0) Been sky diving (my wife forbids it ...)
(X) Gone snowmobiling
(0) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
(X) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(X) Seen the Statue of Liberty
(0) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(X) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train (light rail counts, doesn't it?)
(0) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding (as a kid ... it's been a LONG time)
(X) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(0) Been to Disney World
(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer
(0) Been in a rain forest
(0) Gone Scuba Diving
(X) Been to Niagara Falls (as a baby)
(0) Ridden on an elephant
(0) Swam with dolphins (technically, swimming in the ocean with dolphins nearby counts, I would think, but I'm marking this 0, as it wasn't deliberate)
(0) Been to the Olympics
(0) Walked on the Great Wall of China (REALLY want to do this one ...)
(0) Flown in a Glider (ditto)
(X) Been water-skiing (love it)
(X) Been snow-skiing (don't love it)
(X) Been to Westminster Abbey (awesome)
(0) Been to the Louvre
(0) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game (go Dodgers!)
(0) Been to a National Football League game
(0) Been to the SuperBowl
(X) Been on television ("Go" for launch!)
(X) Stayed in a hotel by yourself (very restful)
(X) Had your name in the newspaper (helps to be from a small town ...)
(X) Have gone to a restaurant and eaten by yourself (very calming)
(X) Have gone to the movies by yourself (very peaceful)
(X) Kissed someone IN another country (love my wife!)
(X) Can speak another language, besides English (I'm marking this with an "X", as I can do minimal French)
(0) Have had knee surgery
(0) Have run a marathon

You know, some of these I actually intend to do someday. Some of the others I intend to skip. Knee surgery? Watch someone die?! Really? Don't think I want to. Even so, 47 out of 75 ain't bad, though (62.6%!). And I think I still have plenty of time!

New Calling: Young Men's 1st Counselor

I was sustained and set apart today in my new calling. Officially, the calling is actually three callings: 1st Counselor to the Young Men's President, Assistant Varsity Scout Coach, and Teachers Quorum Advisor.

The first one means that I'm supposed to provide counsel to the president of the Young Men's, who is also new in his calling. He's been in the program for a while, though, having been moved from being the 2nd counselor to being the president. He also just happens to be an ex-stake president, and has had plenty of boys in the program -- he's well-qualified. In practice, though, it mostly means that I am to teach the boys, all of whom are between 14 and 16 years of age, during Sunday meetings. I am also supposed to encourage them in their Duty to God program, which is currently being revamped.

The second one means that I'm supposed to help the Varsity Scout Coach, the adult leader of the boys during the weekday activities that they have. This particular age group is in between as far as scouting is concerned: old enough that many of them are already Eagle Scouts, but young enough to still be interested. Even better, they're old enough to do a lot of the "high adventure" stuff. In fact, the boys just got back from hiking along the rim of Zion's Canyon, which was an amazing experience for all of them, apparently. (I'm not sad I couldn't go, but instead I'm totally excited to go on their next excursion with them! Probably snow camping ... yeah, call me crazy.)

The third one means that I'm responsible for ensuring that the boys "learn their duty" in their priesthood office of being a "teacher". This means I need to ensure they know how to properly prepare the sacrament, go home teaching, provide service to those in need, and perform their old responsibilities as deacons when called upon to do so. It also means I need to mentor the boys, particularly the leaders, to teach them how to run meetings, organize themselves, plan their activities, uplift each other within the quorum, and to prepare to become priests.

Hmmm, looking at these previous paragraphs, it looks rather daunting. But I'm not really nervous. My two assistants in the quorum have been in there for a while and they know the boys and have good relationships with them. While I'm technically in charge, they are both good men and I expect that we will work together to do whatever is needed to help these boys.

For me, though, I'm most excited about two things:

1) I get to teach the boys as often as I want. Totally fun.

2) I get to go on their "high adventure" excursions. Also totally fun.

In my old calling, I often would sit with these boys and visit with them while they waited to meet with the bishop or his counselors for their six-month interviews. I have had conversations with every one of them, and while I wouldn't say that I am close "friends" with any of them (okay, maybe a few on Facebook ...), I know them by name and know somewhat of their personalities.

I really do love the scouting program. Some of the things they do, I think, are rather silly, particularly at camps and all the stuff they do trying to amp up the boys with scouting "spirit". Even so, I earned my Eagle Scout when I was 15 (thanks, Mom!) and absolutely loved all the campouts and excursions we'd go on. I have great memories of being with the other boys and hiking and freezing to death at night and getting swamped in canoes and making fire -- lots of fire. My scoutmaster was a retired marine, so didn't suffer teenage belligerence -- he was tough as nails, but treated us with respect and, most of the time, like adults. At least, that's how I remember it. Fond memories.

So, now I'm on the other end. I always figured that I'd be a scout leader someday, but I never knew when or how. Now, I know. And now I'm going to be on the receiving end of youthful hyperactivity, inattention, and just plain stupidness. It should be fun!

Want

I want Starcraft II. There, I said it.

Released as Executive Secretary

I was released from my calling today as the Executive Secretary. This job, which I've been doing for almost 5 years, had become second-nature to me -- it was just something I did and something that I was. For years, I haven't really thought much of it. I've just enjoyed being with the great people at the church weekly, helping the Bishop, visiting with people in the hallway, setting up interviews, calling people, and participating in Bishopric Meetings, PECs, and Ward Councils. I was always in the know about things around the ward, and I loved it immensely.

Lately, though, I've been feeling keenly aware of how much I really just want to be home on Sunday with my family. It kind of crept up on me, I think, and was probably prompted by the switchover with the new Bishopric. I love the new Bishop dearly -- I consider him a good friend -- and his counselors are wonderful men, too. So it wasn't as if I wasn't happy with the society I was in. I was just feeling ... antsy, I guess.

Even so, I was prepared to stay in that calling for the long haul. I fully anticipated staying there for years to come, helping the new Bishopric get their footing, and serving them as best I could.

So it was last week that the Bishop handed me a list of people who he wanted to visit with. I recognized all the names on the list as people who we had discussed relative to some callings that need to be filled, but at the bottom of the list the names of my wife and I were included. This surprised me, as I figured that she was going to stay in her calling for a while and we hadn't spoken recently about making any changes with her. But I was absolutely sure that I wasn't going anywhere.

I went about my business of arranging the interviews and helped to shuttle people in and out of the Bishop's office all that day. Come that evening, the Bishop and one of his counselors came to our house to visit with my wife and I (it just worked out that way, not that it was a special trip ...), and the conversation started pleasantly enough with them praising my wife for her services in her calling. But just when I thought they were going to tell her they have something new for her to do, the Bishop said they wanted to keep her in that calling and looked forward to her continued service.

I was stunned. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks that they weren't there to visit with her, but to visit with me! And when they told me what they wanted to do, I was inwardly laughing. My wife later commented that I didn't start jumping on the couch for joy, which surprised her, but I was honestly trying to listen to what they were saying and to understand exactly what they were asking of me. The new calling will be something that suits me well, and I am excited for it. They called me to ... well, I can't say until next week.

Today, as my last day as the Executive Secretary, it went pretty much like any other, but I could tell that things were different. I met with the High Councilor for our ward and he gave me the official release before church meetings started this morning. All day, I was somewhat dazed to realize that I was going through the meetings and talking with people and setting up interviews and doing all the stuff that has become so natural to me for, possibly, the very last time in my Earthly life. One "adventure", if you want to call it that, was coming to an end, with another just about to begin.

Sacrament meeting came and I was released from the pulpit. A good friend of mine from behind me leaned forward when they asked for the gratitudinal raising of the hand and whispered, "If I don't raise my hand, can they still release you?" I smiled, and appreciated the warmth of his question. Throughout the day, several people came up to me and told me how grateful they were for my service. One woman whom I home teach told me that she sees the Executive Secretary position as one where unsung heroes shine, and I was moved. Throughout the day, many people gave simple and quiet expressions of gratitude for my service, and I felt honored to have been able to serve. Later that day, another good friend brought his family with him to drop off some cookies to thank me for my services, and I felt truly and deeply loved and appreciated (cookies have that affect on me).

After church, I spent a few hours with my replacement, going through the binder that had been my constant church companion for these many years, showing him what was in there and how I managed all the various and varied tasks that were my responsibility. He nodded a lot and seemed a little overwhelmed, but he seems competent enough (he's new in the ward, so I don't know him well) and I am just going to let him find his own way. I'll be around for questions, but I have new things to worry about now.

But it was really weird. I went home from church about 4 pm, which is early for me, and spent the afternoon and evening with my family. It was wonderful. I literally wrestled with the kids (something we never do), and played games, and read the newspaper, and listened to good music, and just talked; and I was happy.

I am grateful for all the blessings that came into my family because of those years in that calling, and I am definitely better for it. While I will miss that wonderful calling that I had made my own for so long, my new one awaits. This church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is such an amazing thing. It takes ordinary people -- okay, and space nerds like me -- and gives them opportunities to serve in ways that are unexpected, undeserved, and unanticipated, and lifts them up as they do their best to lift others. Only the True Gospel can accomplish that. Let there be no doubt, for I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, and I know it to be true.

Now, I desperately need some training for my new calling ...

Weird Weekend

This past weekend, I took Thursday off of work with the intent to go camping with my family. As it was, we decided not to go due to a major heatwave smothering Southern California. It cost us $50 to cancel, but the last thing we wanted to do was to go sit at a campground in the dust, with no decent shade, and attempt to not get dehydrated.

Even so, I still took Thursday off (Friday was my regular day off from work) and we enjoyed a 4 day (okay, 3 day, but I'll get to that) weekend together as a family. Pretty much we goofed off. Seriously, that's what we did. Thursday, the day I took as a vacation day, I pretty much hung around the house with the kids, playing on the Wii, building stuff with Legos, and puttering around the garage.

Speaking of the garage, I finally got the kayak hung and it is really weird and somewhat discomforting seeing it hanging above the hoods of our cars in the garage. I keep telling myself that my engineering and my knots are sound, and that there's nothing to be concerned about, but ...

That day was an awfully hot day. About mid-afternoon we discovered that one of our air conditions -- the one we have for the ground floor -- was not working. Happily the one from upstairs was content to crank away all day, and kept the ground floor at a reasonable 85 degrees. This made things more comfortable, and after a few phone calls to friends looking for references to a good air conditioning guy, we were able to get in touch with a fellow who was willing to show up at 9 pm that night!

We were delighted. First, with the worst heat wave of the year upon us, we didn't expect to actually get him to our house that day, and second, when he did show up, he actually had the right part to get our air conditioner working again in about 20 minutes! 350 bucks poorer (we burned out the air conditioner's capacitor, which was swollen from abuse), but feeling much cooler, we sent him on his way with an earnest promise to call him in a month to service both of our 6-year-old-and-never-once-serviced air conditioners.

That night we let the two older kids stay up late and watch Star Wars Episode 2, which they hadn't seen, and they really enjoyed it. Then, to make up for not going camping, we let them sleep in the family room. We pulled out the really lumpy and miserably uncomfortable sofa bed, and my oldest son crashed there without complaint while my daughter crashed on the adjacent couch. Oh, to be kids again.

Friday morning, I mowed the lawn just after 8 am, and it was already in the 90s. Clearly it was going to be another hot day, but our air conditioners were working!

That afternoon we went over to a place called Sky City, which is a business where they have large inflatable slides and play areas where people can hold birthday parties. Apparently they charge half price for general admission on Fridays, so we spent $5 each for our three children to go there and goof off for two and a half hours. They were so sweaty and gross when they were done, but they had a great time and were downright exhausted.

The next day, Saturday, we woke up and headed out the door to go to Chuck-E-Cheeses. Still a favorite place with all three of our children, they had 32 leftover tokens each and had a great time burning through them. My oldest burned most of them playing racing games, my daughter was all about earning tickets, and my youngest just kind of meandered and did everything else. My wife and I? We sat and read books. It was awesome.

After we got home from there, we packed up our stuff and headed out for the beach. We went over to Ventura, where finding a parking spot was a major challenge. We ended up sitting at the end of one block waiting for somebody to leave. We had a lunch with us, so everybody got out of the car and ate while we waited about 20 minutes for somebody to show up and move their car.

Finally getting parked, we ran into some friends from our ward, and, together, we found a decent spot of sand to plant our families. We had a very nice visit with them -- they're a very nice family with three kids of their own that are each respectively, slightly younger than my own. After getting the kids slathered with sunscreen, taking a hike to the super-gross bathroom, and sending them off to play, my wife and I sat down and finally had some time to quietly talk with our friends and do a little more reading.

About this time, my wife started sun-screening herself. As we would find out later, it was way too little way too late. She is torched, and she absolutely hates getting sunburned because her burns typically fade to a tan, which lasts forever (okay, about a year -- which is a crazy-long-time for a tan). This sounds like a good thing, but when she has a very white swimsuit line, it bothers her immensely. So, not only is she suffering the pain from the sunburn, she also has an ignominious tan line that she will be unable to erase for a long, long time.

Come Sunday morning (five or six layers of aloe vera later for my wife), I woke up and did my "usual" Sunday thing. My wife now attends Ward Council with me, so when she showed up at 9 am, she told me that our oldest son wasn't feeling well, and that she intended to bring the kids for sacrament meeting and then go home to be with him. This turned out to be an inspired move, because after she arrived home after sacrament meeting just after lunch time, he threw up all over the family room carpet. Messy, messy.

Our theory? He picked up a nasty stomach virus at Sky City. A natural thing, but we immediately went into quarantine mode; after all, it is summertime and the last thing we need is our other two children to get sick. He spent the day moaning and dry-heaving into a bowl while planted on the couch while my wife spent the day telling the other kids to stay away from him and disinfecting the house. She even had him sleep on an air mattress on the floor of his bedroom instead of his bed so he wouldn't have trouble getting to the bathroom if he needed it.

I, on the other hand, spent nearly the entire day doing church stuff. 7:30 am Bishopric Meeting, 9:00 am Ward Council, 11:00 am Church Services, home from 2:20-2:50 for a quick bite to eat, 3:00 pm interviews, home at 6 for another quick bite to eat (thanks, wife, for the great dinner!), and then off to home teaching from 7 'til 9 pm. It was a long day, but I got a lot of stuff done. And got another calling ... which I'll write about in a few weeks ...

Busy weekend, but very nice. I feel mellow, and don't really want to be at work now ... summer vacations are wasted on schoolkids.

On a Botched Lyrics Translation - Dites-moi

Last night I was running on the treadmill and watching the newer version of South Pacific, with Glenn Close and Harry Connick, Jr. (which my wife and I like better than the 1958 version, by the way), and there is this little song in it called "Dites-moi". For some reason, I really love this song. Perhaps it's because I find it's simplicity charming, or perhaps it's because I took 5 years of French when I was in school and I still retain a minimal capacity to understand it. Either way, I enjoy the song quite a bit.

So this morning I'm in the shower and this song is going through my head, but I couldn't remember some of the words. Once I got online, I went to go look up the lyrics, and was stunned to find a translation that goes like this:

Tell me why
The sky
Is filled with music
Tell me why
We fly
On clouds above
Can it be
That we
Can fly to music
Just because
Just because
We're in love

I was appalled, astonished, and slightly enraged. This particular translation is absolutely, completely, and wholeheartedly false, and loses the entire intent and beauty of the song. To wit, the actual words are as follows:

Dites-moi
Pourquoi
La vie est belle
Dites-moi
Pourquoi
La vie est gai
Dites-moi
Pourquoi,
Chere Mad'moiselle,
Est-ce que
Parce que
Vous m'aimez?

This actually translates, line by line, to the following:

Tell me
Why
Life is beautiful
Tell me
Why
Life is happy
Tell me
Why,
Dear young lady,
Is it
Because
You love me?

I can hear it gently in my head as I type, and I love it. As for that other translation, well, you can keep it. I'll keep singing it in French.

FunnyTranslator.com

So I stumbled upon this website called FunnyTranslator.com, which promises to totally mess up anything you put in there. It tells you to "Write funny, original, non offensive stuff" and then press a button after which it will translate your words back and forth from English to a bunch of other languages.

I gave it a whirl just to see what was up. "Why me?" became "Why?" on my first attempt. Not so inspiring, but I tried again.

"To be or not to be" ends up as, simply, "Yes or no."

So, I decided to go for gold and put in "I am a doodoo head."

The response?

"I am the president of the hunt."

So, the next time you see a bunch of guys in the woods with guns, you can honestly call him a "doodoo head" and mean it with no offense ... ;)