Last night I had a weird dream. It was absolutely chock-full of references to things I've seen on TV or about other common-place things. It started with me sitting in a room that looked very much like a church, but later I concluded it was a school. There were benches or pews set in rows lined up throughout a large room which had at it's head a very large object covered in a sheet. Some fellow at the front of the room was expostulating about how wonderful his invention was and how he gave it a lot of smarts. After all his talk, he unveiled his mighty creation, which was ... a large robot chicken.
It was beautiful, with feathers and everything, but was more erect with a short neck. However, it was clear things were a little weird because it had a machine gun mounted on its chest. Of course, the thing went haywire and immediately killed its creator, who died, strangely, in a burst of feathers. It then turned on the group and everybody ducked down behind the pews. We heard machine gun fire and then we were calmly directed by a robotic voice to leave the room row by row, section by section. It didn't quite happen that way, but certain groups were allowed to leave while others were held hostage by the mighty robot chicken.
I myself managed to get out, but being somewhat familiar with how robots can break, I circled around the back of the building and found a way in. There was a long, white, brick-lined hallway down which I found an accessway to the rafters of the stage behind the robot chicken where quite a few people were fearful and hiding. Somehow, me and another fellow managed to reach down far enough to literally wrest the head off the top of the chicken. We frantically worked to take it apart, noticing that, yes, the robot chicken kept running around with its head cut off. As we pried the robot head apart, we noticed it was composed mostly of plywood with a few lights and cameras mounted inside of it. Indeed, the computer "brain" was nowhere to be found.
We looked around and saw the robot chicken -- sans head -- make its way across the auditorium, destroying pews and scattering people as it went. I looked down and saw the equipment that had a diagram of the robot chicken and it showed that there were two seats in the upper right chest of the chicken where people could be held. Why it was over where the human heart would be, I don't know, but that's where it was. It was unclear to me if the two people who could sit in those seats were in control of the chicken or not, but me and the other fellow somehow knew that the two people inside the robot chicken were being held hostage by the nefarious device, to what end we did not know.
Soon we managed to identify the exact coordinates of one of the people, and teleported him to where we were on the stage above the rafters. The fellow was non-nonplussed, not seeming to really care that we had "rescued" him, as if it didn't matter one way or the other, but he told me how the chicken could be destroyed. The robot then destroyed the side of the auditorium and started making its way across the parking lot, destroying cars as it went and causing people to run in every direction.
I just happened to have a military radio with me, so I made a call and as we watched from the window to the side of the auditorium, a helicopter came along with a bucket beneath. It flew over the chicken and dumped water on top of the rampaging robotic monster, and we saw a beautiful light show as it short-circuited and eventually fell over. Yes, the headless robot chicken had been drowned by nothing less than rain from the sky.
You just gotta love the unconscious mind.
Fine: be that way, Mr. Raccoon.
2 days ago