Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Few Things I've Always Wanted To Do

The highly impractical:
-- Hurl really big stuff through the air with a giant trebuchet. You know, like, a car or something.
-- Skydive from low-Earth orbit.
-- Witness an actual nuclear explosion without burning my eyes out and/or dying.
-- Drive a monster truck through Walmart's very full parking lot.
-- Float down the entire length of the Amazon.
-- Climb Olympus Mons and hike the length of the Valles Marineris on Mars.

Okay, let's talk superpowers:
-- Read people's minds at my own discretion.
-- Be invisible when I want to be.
-- Fly like Superman -- you know, just think about moving in a third dimension and actually doing it.
-- Run like the Flash without my clothes getting ripped off by the speed.
-- Walk through walls without falling through floors.
-- Travel back in time to see anything from the past (and change the timeline! or maybe not ...).
-- Okay, with that, I think I need to add: experience divergent timelines -- you know, all the "what ifs" of my life.
-- Safely teleport myself anywhere I want to go -- even to other planets.
-- Be invicible/immortal (until I'm ready to move on, of course).
-- And what good would that be unless I could help other people be the same way (life wouldn't be very good without my dear wife and kids and friends ... and their friends).
-- Use my awesome mind powers to, you know, make people do the right thing.
-- Reverse entropy.
-- Know everything without going nuts.

The comparatively "ho-hum" but more achievable stuff:
-- Visit the Great Wall of China.
-- Climb the Pyramids of Giza (though, really, flying around them would be better).
-- Climb the Mayan ruins.
-- Learn how to fence.
-- Learn how to surf, and ride some really big waves.
-- Have enough money to never worry about it again.


Melissa said...

First of all, you're weird. Second of all, I would get some reinforced swimming trunks if you plan to float down the Amazon. Are we talking on an innertube here? Because I'm pretty sure the pirhanas would make quick work of that and/or your posterior region. (Really, these were a lot of fun to read).

Roy said...

I was thinking about a well-designed raft or a canoe or something equally safe. Though cartoonish visions of my backside getting bitten by piranhas makes me giggle ...

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